Mike and I went on a few ski trips before kids. It was all it should be (see description above).
2004
2005...and I'm pregnant with Trix!
Yup, that's how Bad A__ I am, four months pregnant and yet I ski.
Then we started bringing children. Oops. Enter the O'Koniewski Family Ski Trip Curse.
Ski Trip One: The Stairs
Let's bring Bryan! He was 4 or 5, time to start learning to ski. The fact that every time he fell down and cried for five or ten minutes, telling me he couldn't possibly get up until I picked him up was pretty much a given with taking a small child skiing. The problem was that Mike had a great tendency to be half way down the mountain and just "couldn't help."
Then at the end of the day, it was Mom who wound up taking Bryan back to the room while Mike got in "another run or two." Which turned into three or four. In the meantime, I have carried Bryan's ski boots, skis, my skis and dragging him along as he whined about how tired he was.
But here's the best part. Mike wanted the top floor of the condo building so we'd have a great view! So THEN I had to drag Bryan up three flights of stairs, at altitude after skiing all day and walking back to the condo. Party on, Wayne. That ski trip could have been a bit more enjoyable for me.
Ski Trip Two: Better
2007
The same crying kid who has fallen and can't get up, the same half way down the hill husband, the same end of day scene. But no three flights of stairs! The only issue this year was the in-room hot tub with a view of the mountain that Mike ensconced himself in for over an hour every night while I took care of the meal, the condo and the kid.
Ski Trip Three: The Sinus Infection
2010
Time to bring Kevin and teach him to ski too, yay! But days before we leave, I come down with a NASTY sinus infection. Let me tell you how fun driving through the mountains was! And since I'm the one that lived out there, I always drive up and down the mountain, so no drowsiness-inducing decongestants or pain killers.
Now Kevin is on the ski harness. (No, that isn't Kevin, I'm away from home and don't have a picture of us...)
This is a harness with long straps that a skier behind the kid holds onto so they can't get out of control and fly off the side of the trail into a tree. But it also involves the back skier using a lot more muscle to control the speed of two skiers. And since I'm the better skier, this "falls" to me (hilarious!). How very appropriate for a person fighting a nasty sinus infection at altitude. Here's the thing; Kevin is a daredevil, so he was constantly telling me to "stop holding him back." Which means when he does fall, it's spectacular. And scary. And results in a face full of snow. And a LONG session of crying and refusing to get up and the new one: "I CAN'T ski anymore, we HAVE to WALK down!" And now that Bryan was older and more self-sufficient, Mike and Bryan were always well down hill from us when Kevin fell.
I HATED this ski trip.
Ski Trip Four: Homework From Hell
2012
This ski trip was preceded by my girlfriends asking me what the hell I was thinking going skiing again. Oh, really, it will be fine. We're flying this year! (Did I mention that every previous ski trip involved one and half days of driving each way? No? Oh, that makes everything more fun!) Plus Kevin is a year older, Bryan is good at skiing and Mike knows not to leave me uphill with Kevin. Dramatic irony, anyone?
The main issue this year was Bryan's fourth grade teacher and the copious amount of school work we brought with us. Three text books, plus a photo-copied 17 page story and a pile of worksheets. We did over an hour and a half on the plane ride there. But that wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. You know, skiing is kind of an intense activity. And exhausting. So it's really quite easy to get a tired 10 year old to focus on homework at the end of the day. NOT! Every night was miserable fighting, begging and pleading with him to get his work done. And just a little under my breath cursing at his teacher back home.
And of course the ski day was the usual "Stop holding me back!" followed by "I've fallen and can't get up" and the insult added to injury of Mike being downhill. To give him credit, that was only about half the time, but involved a lot of yelling on my part to achieve.
Ski Trip Five: This is the Year!
Once again, my girlfriends said "WHAT?!?!" when I said I was getting ready for the annual ski trip. Sigh, my kids, all three of them, love it. Bryan's teacher is cool, he only has a math test to study for. Kevin is yet another year older and we don't need the ski harness anymore. Mike and I had a long talk about division of duties on and off the slopes so I dont come home exhausted, wishing no one had ever invented downhill skiing. My goal was simple: to enjoy our ski trip more than I have before.
So, guess where I am RIGHT NOW. That's right, Keystone, Colorado. In our condo. Is it night time on the last day of the trip and I'm triumphantly writing about our best ski trip ever? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No, I'm sitting here with Kevin. Who started expelling various materials from both ends about three and a half days ago. About the time that our dryer died, just to add some color to the bland story I'm about to tell. He proceeded to spike a 103 F fever and keep down nothing but a few crackers, but no liquids. After about four hours, it seemed to be getting better. Psych! Finally called the doctor, who was concerned about dehydration. So, a fun trip to the ER where I was told "he isn't that dehydrated." My kid was laying on me staring at the wall after having hardly moved all day except to hurl. OK. But then they gave us the miracle drug...
Zofran
Within fifteen minutes that kid was sitting up drinking diluted apple juice and telling me about how dinosaur fossils ended up on Antarctica (because it used to be part of Pangaea).
He slept great. His fever was gone. No more vomiting, just a little "sharting." Of course we stayed home from school again, just because he was still wiped out. But I was in charge of the Valentine's Day Party in his classroom that day. Of course he whined all day about it. So I decided he could come with for that short hour, but not eat pizza or giant cookies. That one hour knocked him out and he needed a long nap.
The next day was out outbound flight. I knew he'd be wiped out and have more trouble than normal with the altitude change. But he didn't sleep a wink on the flight. In fact he was perky and cute and energetic. Well, he'll certainly sleep on the over two hour drive up into the mountains. Or not. Maybe he'll crash right as we pull into the parking lot at Mountain Sports where we rent the kids skis and boots. He made it long enough to fit boots, then he and I went to sit in the mini-van, where he promptly fell asleep. OK, expected.
Not expected: when we got to the room he lay on the couch shivering so bad his teeth were chattering.
Not expected: a 103 F fever at 9:00 pm.
Not expected: after being symptom free for 30 hours, suddenly not wanting to eat.
Expected: lots and lots of gas; recovering from virtually empty intestines and being in a low pressure environment
Not expected: that he would fumigate the bedroom with gas so rotten that it smelled like dead things were decomposing under the bed. The kind of gas (Fiber One Bar gas)described in hilarious and mind "blowing" detail at Fiber One Farts
Not expected: him hurling...on the coffee table, the carpet, my shoes and in the toilet
So, here we are. Zofran on board along with half a waffle. Mike and Bryan skiing. Kevin laying low. And me with time on my hands! After I'm done with this blog entry...
I'm going to sew. That's right, I brought sewing! In an attempt to make this trip "better," I planned a down day for myself. I was going to go to the spa, and/or yoga class, and/or shopping, and/or sit my ass, and/or do some hand sewing. I have this gorgeous pillow I'm making that involves this funky, criss-cross smocking.
(Pattern from Quilted Garden: Smocked Pillow)
It's easy and relaxing. So I brought it with. Little did I know I'd be doing it my first day on vacation.
Yes, you heard me. Vacation. Because despite the long day yesterday and longer night last night and hurling kid today...I'm relaxed! I don't have a house to clean, a pile of paperwork on my desk sending guilt vibes my way every time I walk by, the phone ringing with the Policeman's Fund for juve d's that I have a hard time saying no to, no cello to run up to school because someone forgot it and the 9,000 other things I worry about everyday.
And now that I know Kevin's demon virus isn't done with him yet, he'll be on Zofran every six hours until we get home!
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